Carpooling Rules!

It's 4:33p.m. and I will be leaving the office in 7 minutes. It's been a long time since I've left work this early (especially on a Monday). For the past 9 months or so I've been coming into work at 9:00 and leaving at 5:30. Although this sounds great because I can sleep in later, I've found that I don't like getting off that late because it cuts into my evening activities, yet I haven't been able to be self-motivated enough to do anything about it.

Last week a guy in the office e-mailed a few people he heard lived near him and now I'm in a carpooling group. There are only three of us, but that means that I don't drive at least 2 weeks out of the month. HOLY GAS SAVING, BATMAN!! and we get into work at about 8:10 and leave at about 4:40. It's just the motivation I needed...

So, pros to my carpool:
1. I got TONS done today at work! Way more than I usually do.
2. I beat my boss into work. :-)
3. It was quieter than normal in the office for the first 30 minutes.
4. Better coffee (someone shared their own fresh-ground beans with me)
5. Less than 3 voicemails and 5 e-mails waiting to open this morning.
6. People to talk to in the car.
7. I'm leaving now (4:40pm).

Cons:
1. Earlier bedtime.
2. Others depending on me not to sleep through my alarm clock.
3. No vote on radio station at least 2 weeks out of the month. ;-)

So all in all, CARPOOLING RULES!!

"A Prayer of Barenness"

"A Prayer of Barenness"
Dana Candler

My heart aches. I love Him, yes, but faintly.
I desire Him, yes, but weakly.
I want Him, true, but waiveringly.
Even the pain that lies within
I reconize to be such faint pain,
A mere discomfort next to the heart-wrenching anguish
That grips true lovers
My knowledge is nothing. My wisdom, infancy.
I see nothing as it truly is.
Eternity what is light. The life of earth what is dark.
Stories remain stories. Not sinking deep within my soul,
And scarring me with Divine invasion
Your cross is a picture, Your Heaven a fantasy.
Tears are sweet emotions, moved by Your sacrifice.
But not the tears of sharing in Your sufferings.
I say your name so sweetly but do not know its Face.
All I am is far. So distant, so removed.
But you beckon me come.
Yet, my Lord, I am nothing. I have nothing. I know nothing.
When I thought I had something,
It dissolved before Your beauty,
And I was left naked. Possessing nothing.
Poor for words. Empty of all. Needy and alone.
Even so, my Love, call me.
Yes, do not leave me here but beckon me come.
Though I have nothing, though I am only poor,
I cast myself on your unfailing love
Where else would I go?
Whom have I but You?

A New Post!

So you might be wondering "what I've been up to lately and what I've been thinking about," eh? Well, I'm on my lunch break, so I'll tell ya.

Life since the fire has been difficult on varying levels. I feel like I'm always busy and never organized. I did have a week a couple weeks ago where I finally felt mostly back to normal, but I need to start picking up the pace again because I want to get my room looking like a real bedroom again. I still don't really have furniture in there besides my bed and I'm tired of stuff being in organized piles against the wall. I will begin to get that taken care of this weekend. Emotionally, I sometimes still grieve, but not so much for the stuff... for the other parts. I felt like I should at least mention something about the fire, but I still don't have much to say about that right now. It's so complex.

Work has its ups and downs. I have this sort of love/hate relationship with my job. Some days I love what I'm doing and I feel like I'm doing a great job, and other days I hate the tasks at hand and/or I feel like there is way too much to do and I'll never in a million years get it done (then I feel like "I quit!"). :-) I guess it's a matter of continued focus. "Keep on keepin' on." But I am beginning to consider when I want to leave and move on to something else and what that something else might be. I feel that it's okay to begin thinking about it more seriously since I've been here 14 months already and I'm still relatively young. (ha ha) :-)

The House of Prayer has been pretty cool. God's spirit is pouring out more and more in the House, in the lives of the worshipers, and in the city. It's pretty awesome. I wish I could figure out if I feel more called there, or into ministry with people. Even if I were to go on campus staff, or some other organization, I think that the prayer room would still be a big part of where I spent my time and attention, but I don't know if I'm a "for the rest of my life" kind of Anna. I guess what I'm saying is that if I spend 40 hours a week in the prayer room, where is my context for developing relationships with people? I mean, I'd obviously develop relationships with other worshipers and lots of folks in the House, but what about discipling new believers? What about making relationships with those who don't know him? What about teaching and preaching (since I desire to do both those things one day)? How does it all fit? I guess I just feel like having a job (or something?), even part time would be a means to do the outreach I want to do, but I want to be spiritually based in my church and the prayer room. I'm totally a "millennial" generation-er. I have all these dreams and ambitions, I'm an idealist, and I don't know how to make any of it all fit together. :-) Being a Gen X-er was so much easier. (ha ha... what do I know about that?)

Okay, I ran out of time. More later.