Thursday, October 14, 2010

Long-Held Personal Secret

This may be surprising to hear, but I strongly dislike jokes and comments about how much I talk. I'm very sensitive to it. I've been teased about it my whole life. It really hurts my feelings. (And I really hated getting that "most-talkative" award at senior banquet.)

Today at work, just after my lunch break when I was in a pretty good mood, my coworker asked me something about a book I had read. She asked a lot of questions, so I told her with excitement how much I enjoyed it and why. The two of us, and the student worker who was covering the desk, then got chatting about all kinds of stuff. I was all revved up and excited, so I was talking about all kinds of things. I started doing that thing (like the Bing commercial) where I keep switching subjects and one thing reminds me of the next. (Okay, so it's not as bad as the Bing commercial, but really...) I wasn't entirely dominating the conversation. It wasn't like they couldn't get a word in or anything close, but then my coworker* started teasing me about how much I talked. At first I was cool with it, kind of played along, but she just kept going on and on. She told me I do it all the time and that my boss can never get away from me because I keep asking him questions (in social conversations). Not true! I have trouble getting out of my boss's office, too! He's a funny guy and we enjoy the funny things we talk about (like his dog having bad gas today because he mistakenly gave the dog oatmeal). So clearly it just went down hill to all-out making fun of me. :( I exited the conversation by making a phone call I needed to make, then went on with my day.

If I just straight-up tried to quit chatting like I do, I would get so depressed. I would be a little mouse in a corner, never making anyone laugh, never sharing a smile, never truly connecting with anyone, and never sharing the Gospel with a complete stranger just because it happens to come up (which I've been known to do). I'd be a mess.

When people make fun of other people, they have to be careful. They may think it's just a joke, they make think it's all in fun, but they also may be completely insulting something they really can't (and shouldn't) change about themselves. It needs to occur to all of us that God made us the way He made us for a reason. I talk, because it pleased Him to make me talkative. (tear)

*This coworker seems to find something wrong with everyone. :( She had a bad day yesterday, so she kept interrupting me when people would ask ME questions and teased me - asking me if I was a doctor when I was telling our other student worker she should call her doctor about her knee injury before going home this weekend to see if she could possible get some pain medications to get her by until then. I couldn't do anything right by her yesterday. Today she was totally fine, except for the talking thing. :(

3 comments:

Jenny said...

i think maybe your coworker was trying to mask a criticism as humor, and when you took it well, she decided she hadn't pushed hard enough. probably jealous that you and your boss click so well, you know? probably gets under her skin and she'd been looking for the chance to rub it in your face. i'm sorry she hurt you. :(
i think you're lovely.
ps. the senior award? i never would've guessed you didn't like that. you do a good job at being gracious. you should know though, i think most people find the trait quite endearing. :)

missy said...

dude, i remember when i finally understood what a gift you have when it comes to talking! well, i don't remember when actually, but i remember not having understanding and then having understanding. :) not that i found it super annoying before, but understanding that God has built you in a way that you *will* have conversations with people that others (including myself) just won't have, and not because you push it, but because of your personality, these things really do just come up!

so i am sorry for the times i know i have hurt you with this, but just so you know, i am really thankful for the way that God made you.

and i agree with jenny's endearing comment.

AND! i also think you're a good listener. :)

love you!!!

Blake said...

I've never thought you talked much more than any other extrovert. I also agree with Missy, you are a good listener. Come to Indiana and I'll introduce you to people who even you would have a hard time getting a word in.